This email I received is enlightening to a point.

Joel man.

I know. It is a wonder why you are still who you are. I admire you greatly for this. Of the people I know. You are really unique. You are downright weird. You are downright cool. You are downright unpredictable. You are downright smart. You are the amongst the epitomes of what it is to be 5'4". Not to mention, you can still kick arse, of people 5'10". Of course. I am just saying what you probably already know, but your personality will never admit to it as you adore praise and you are never content with being good.

I know you hurt a lot. You hurt so much inside, it is amazing it doesn't show at all. I wish I could help you, but I really don't know how to. I lack your EQ. You are an angry man, it shows, it really does. Joel, one fine day, your day will come. Just bide your time. I know it sounds stupid. But yes. Being tall isn't everything. You are cool. Dead cool. But you are the type of cool that is evil cool. People like evil cool. They don't love evil cool. Being tall isn't everything, in some ways you should be glad that you aren't tall, if you weren't the height you were, I'd say that you wouldn't be who you are. You wouldn't be as enlightened, and sure as hell wouldn't be who you are today. Be glad you aren't gay. If you were, knowing your personality, dude you'd have more AIDS in you then a cheap five dollar a go anus renting faggot who spends his money on crack, not food or rent. Hell I'd do you if I was gay.

Life goes on man, life goes on. Don't get laid and die in Uni, it would be a bloody waste, but I suppose you love destroy beautiful things and what greater way to destroy beauty than to destroy something with so much potential. Remember, as you already said, you ain't going after any girl who would not go after you. You swore that. I'd imagine a person of your calibre would have had greater integrity. A person like you should never have to, if someone can't value you for you are, they are missing out a whole lot. Patience. "fucking patience" as you would have said in your current mood, or maybe "mutha hucking patience" if you weren't so pissed. or "patience, my friend" if you weren't in a bad mood. Joel. I have said so much, all which you already know. I don't know what else to do. You have been a great friend to me, better than I could have been for you. It'd be sad to see you die the way you may go. Live life to the fullest, as you would already do.

PS: I know I based this on the email you sent me. But really I know you feel flattered by that don't you? You sonnavabitch you?

Brian "B Man" Lim

Good Ol' B Man

Fine Fine, I didn't exactly screw blogger so screw me. I am bored.


You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.


What kind of kiss are you?
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I am not a martial arts nut. I'd just like to state that fact.
I am really considering dropping martial arts. I read this book on Martial Arts philosophies. And it being, besides an excellent source of strange quotes concerning martial arts, e.g. Man who asks now faces shame for awhile, whereas.

Suddenly I don't feel like blogging. I mean. Fuck this man. I really don't feel like blogging it seems that this is just a strange outlet for me to vent to the world how I feel. As if it really matters. I am not in a negatice mood right now, don't get me wrong. I just suddenly find blogging so useless. People just read the blog and they go. How lame. providing my freinds and other strangers with information as to what I did today. This is stupid. only socially insecure people would really want to do that, so that they can feel like a somebody. Sigmund Freud was right, everything is related to sexual tension within a person. I really wanna get laid, then I wanna die, looks like the old philosophy is comming back to me. Uni is an excellent source of chicks that spread like butter. Hey who knows, maybe God would want me to stick around for a while longer. Wonder if yesterday's prayers will work today.


Good. Now bugger off.

I shall from now on refrain from using Ciaoz as ciao is such a horrible shallow female term, used by girls who have no intrinsic value in thier life.

link to the post that was never posted

Okay, this is stupid, I tried blogging and blogger hucked over on me. Seems now that what I wrote for blogger now would be inapropriate for posting now as situations change. Well, they probably changed some time ago. But hey, i'll still add a link to it if you are really intersted what happened. That is if this manages to get posted anyway.

Okay, today was really interesting, I haven't had such days in such a long time. Will blog about it later if I can be stuffed. Need to go out to chow and get some stuff off the library.

My mother can tell that I am not in a good mood. This is not on. Man! I can't believe this is hitting me this hard. Coz it isn't really that big. I mean c'mon. Normally moods are something that are ignored in this house. Vibes aren'y recognised as existent in this house. Man, my vibe projection must be really really really thick. I need to leave the house soon. I am so not in the mood to go to uni at this momment.

B-man if you read this call me.

Well, I am not please. Joel is not pleased. I have to admit, I am really let down. But I s'pose. Yeah. I mean. I don't know. I.... Screw this. Coz like. ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.

My arms are really tanned.

I am so pissed. Shit it has suddenly occured to me that I am really werid. Fucking hell. Man I am wierd. But shit. This is not the problem. Joel right now has to go to Uni. Screw the blog. Literally.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!

REAL MADRID : 3

MAN UNITED : 1

Well, sometimes it all boil's down to luck, we'll get them buggers next time.

Hrm, speaking of myself in the third person's context is actually beginning to sound quite strange.

Joel is happy. Joel is excited. Joel has the strange sense of elation from liking someone. Joel is going down to school. Joel is going to sit on the grass and be happy that Joel doesn't have to run with the other people. Joel is happy.

Awwwwww! You're a Kappa.A cute little frog thing
with a beak. You love cucumbers and swimming.
Although you've been known to do harm (Like
pulling the intestines out through a human's
anus), you're normally very carefree and
loveable. Only when you're pissed off would you
ever hurt another person. You've got a plate of
water that you wear on your head that gives you
special powers, but watch out! If that plate
gets knocked off, you lose all those powers and
become just a wierd lookin' frog thing...


What Japanese Creature are you?
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Cool. But Kappas aren't really THAT docile. I mean if i can remember Kappas could really kick ass, though only when disturbed though.

When a Joel is down, somehow he normally hits rock bottom really fast and hard, with a sick wet thud. And it is so hard and painful it is not funny. Not even Joels laugh about that. But the good thing about being a Joel, even though when he hits rock bottom and he gets really low in the bottom, Joels can rebound back amazingly quickly. Good thing too.

2 hours ago. I took my staff, put one of the various sets of martial arts shoes I have. Step outside into the humongous yard we have. And attempted to shadow spar in the pale moonlight. It was fun, it was exahustive. But it was fun. Joels love that kinda stuff. I spent about almost 15 full minutes worth of hard out shadow sparring using a staff against my imaginary foe, or my shadow, it was fun. Joel's shadow enjoyed it too. I need to practice more with the staff I haven't really been practising as of late and I have gotten rusty with it, I can't do the forward flurry as well as I used to before.

Staffs are cool, Nun cha ckus are cooler. Swords are not cool. Daggers aren't really that cool. Why? Coz swords and daggers are bladed weapons and meant for really seriously killing people and and are really agro, whereas with Nun Cha Kus and Staffs and other blunt weapons, greater skill is required for making death blows, and with even greater skill, non lethal damage can be dealt and still they are as powerful as bladed weapons. Take that B-man.

My life suddenly has seemed to loose its colour. I always thought I was different. Always wanted to be different. I tried to be different. I thought I was better. Always wanted to be better than the rest. I always tried my best. I can't believe I am but the same. I am not any better. I am dying to make a statement I will not even make in my head in fear of the repercussions to what I have always believed myself to be. If this is true, this statement I daren't make be true. I am a fraud. All I have ever believed in, that I am different and better is false. False I shall be. Not even the toungues of demons may compete with the untruth that beholds my soul should this statement be true. I dare not even think it be so.

In other words I really need to talk to somebody.

I'll probably give Gilainne a call since she would most probably be the most fitting person to hold a conversation on this right now.

Dammit, blogger ain't posting on me again.

Dammit, blogger ain't posting on me again.

I am SO happy.

Ker Han knows why

Gilainne knows why.

Not really sure who else knows why.

At the same time.

Glianne knows why I may not be so cool right now.