Quote of the day

Well, you can't blame a helpless Loon for making mistakes can you?

- Joel Alexander Tai

Fine I am evil. So sue me.

When Tina blocked me.
A) I was surprised
B) I was dumfounded

When it sank in that Tina was indeed pissed or some way unhappy
A) I was surprised
B) I was dumbfounded
C) I was pissed
D) I realised that what I wrote earlier down there was very badly worded and in order for one to truly understand what was written, they would have to have my chain of thought , or at least understand it, which on this earth I know only 3 people that could possibly come close to. Which would be really crap coz nobody would understand it the way it was meant to be understood.
E) Felt a strange evil sense of achievement, I finally got the never unhappy person happy. A feeling that I recount I have had only once, that would be me a long time ago, after I had my first gang fight and we emerged victorious. I was unscathed and bloodthirsty, the guys had to restrain me and pull me out of sight to run away as we could hear the sirens of police cars drawing closer.
F) Really annoyed that I dug myself this shit hole which I have to somehow explain myself out of it.
G) I felt really sad and something really bugged me that somehow I managed to really hurt one of the best things that happened to me in the year 2002. Which really cancelled out the evil feeling of achievement all the way.

So I really have to somehow right what wrong I have created.

Firstly I will begin explaining some things.
A) I am not dissing Tina in anyway and never meant to and still stand by what I wrote as not dissing her in my own words.
B) The "voice of the "cool" dude" that dissed her in that conversation is not a reflection of the way I currently think it is remnant of me, back when I would still allow myself to be engaged in something as pitifully meaningless as a gang fight to settle someone wolf-whistling someone else's girlfriend. And he was basically quoting and bringing back memories of what I remembered people telling me about Tina.
C) The "voice" which people would recognise as my own currently removed the "cool dude" who we all know is a prick and thus ignored what he said. Symbolically, that would be that I really don't care what they said about her.
D) I like the Scottish dude, he is funky, and he is just a random bit of my personality as I pretend to be Scottish sometimes. (I remember owning a kilt once :D)
E) Guys do tend to be around the wee bit insensitive side as, being a guy you need to be able to take a whole butt load pf crap and just let it slide if you want to be easy going.

Okay now to clear up some facts.

Tina if you still bother to read this
A) I have never told you in your face that you are a fucking ugly bitch who is flat-chested because I have said before and I will say it again, I have never thought that you were a fucking ugly bitch. You being flat chested? I have never cared about it. Many other girls are and if silicone weren't invented we we'd see more. So why should I tell it to your face?

B) My opinion of you has never in anyway been shaped by whatever dickhead's opinion that I have heard. What I wrote there was just memories reminding me what they have said. Just because they said it, and I remembered it, and I repeat it, doesn't mean I believe it.

C) The part I referred to as the "sour aftertaste of Tina" I didn't refer to YOU as being a sour aftertaste, I referred to as having known you and all that we have been through and thus well, it ain't exactly something that is really, well, 100% pleasant.

D) In order to clear up some of the confusion that I have thrown in. I will have to make some statements.
You have never ever EVER occurred to me as being a bitch much more so a fucking ugly one. In my opinion, much less so what other dickheads who may read this want to think, that you would have seemed to get more beautiful with the passing of time. I think you have looked better and better from the first time I have seen you. And every time I see you again, you seem to look better than the last time I have seen you. That is in honest to all goodness truth.
A reason I would be minorly annoyed from knowing you (and even Ker han or Logan doesn't know this) is that if somehow, you hooked up with someone else, I'd really wouldn't want to think of that scenario or go into it further, coz I really don't want to, it'd tear my mind apart.
Another reason is that I don't not like you, I find it really hard, not liking someone I find in every way, NO reason NOT to like, there is nothing really that I can say that you have actively done that I know off, which I would in the least bit way not like, I like the way you attempt to put your ownself down when I don't really think you deserve it, the way you bitch about being fat I find it charming. That was some of what I was trying to state earlier and you may have missed the gist of that section.

So yeah I really am quite tired from writing all this and if you weren't Tina and you read it all to this point you are a busy body that was not really meant for your eyes, lol. And if there is any further confusion email me here. You had better, coz if you don't I'd hunt you down and kill you believe you me I will and I can.

Lastly Tina if you were insulted in anyway, then I am truly very sorry it was never meant to be that way.

:D Ciaoz

I have been listening to this christian radio all day long and I mean all the friggin day ALL THE FRIGGIN DAY. And I have about enough of it coz it is on Friggin MEDIUM WAVE and the quality of sound from it is atrocious, and they have christian rock music blaring over it 24/7 and it is really annoying coz the repeat the songs over and over and they sound like 1980s jam.

Note about yesterdays post: It was meant to be what was in my head at that very point of time what I recalled from input I have received in the past and stuff that just pops up randomly and is in no way a true reflection of the way I really think

Current Mood: Strangely un happy (that doesn't mean I am unhappy, just not happy)

Comic of the day


Poem of the day
Errect in your presence most boys would stand
Radiant and freindly you would always be
Insistently you would be there when I needed a hand
Never can still believe you were once with me

-Joel "Joey" Tai
Dedicated to Erin, still can remember you :P

God this is boring. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE A DYNAMIC UP AND ABOUT INDIVIDUAL. What the hell is going on with me. Sheesh. Only stupid people are bored, and somehow I don't feel so intelligent anymore.

I had this conversation with myself just now

"Hey Mahn, Wassup!"
"Hi"
"How you doin?"
"I'm not doing too well my freind."
"Really? hey mahn looks like some new dude's commin. Sup G!"
"Aye! Wot yer couple o fooks doin 'ere?"
"Mahn, this guy has just been through some deep shit cut him some slack here mahn."
"Aye? Wot appen to ye?"
"I don't really know, but somehow my life seems pointless at the momment for there is nothing really that I do that keeps me going and I am incredibly bored."
"Oooo aht's oo-rible. Ay din't yer once ahd a reeallay bea-ii-fool gaelfriend?"
"That was a long time ago eons back in a previous life."
"Fook laddie, daht ain't good"
"Dude, all you need in life is to get laid mahn."
"Really? Maybe the physical act of love would inspire me to greater heights once again, like shakespear, in love."
"Laddie, it is all bout shaagin and fook-in. Maekin loove, Bollocks. Laddie, you got to grab the winmon by the arse and do er like ah faht cow and let er mooon."
"Yeah the scottish dudes got it mahn. I remember back when i had this mint chick, I mean she was a hot ass babe, she had a body I mean, shit. I would have fucked her brains out dude. Fuck, I was too young to realise how hot she was. SHIT! I.."
"Excuse me gentlemen, but would you mind cutting down on the vulgarities, someone may hear you."
"Sweet ass dude."
"Laddie, all yer naed is a gae yaself new gal."
"I don't know but maybe it sour aftertaste of Tina PS:(Actual words that I used last night when taking to logan, many possible connotations, so let your mind run wild.) that really killed my current scenario dead in it's tracks, or it could be just a random low point that really I have run into. I need something new and interesting in my life"
"Dude, get a REAL chick, get over that like frickin ugly bitch, I mean that is one fucked up patchwork job. my dude can make a better impression of shit than that. I mean DUDE get over it, get real"
"Laddie ya know it's ya life Ah can only offer ya advice ya need to pick yaself oop anhd git ya life back online, so look owards the sunrise, eh sea is deep and aer are mahny fish."
"You. Lay off Tina you sound just like Ker Han and I admit being around him is not the best thing to be when talking about her, so to refrain myself from taking his view point and agreeing with his ideology, please, stop this nonsensical crap."
"Dude, look she has got tits the height of a baby's boner. and man her ass is so flat I could pop a boner and dude what the fuck are you doing wait dude"
"Laddie, wot in ell's name are ya doin?"
"(Boom)(Paff)(Biff)"
"Now that we have absolved outselves of that supreme fuckwit. Let me clear the confusion"
"I am not still head over heels for Tina"
"Well, laddie, if that is so, then well, let is be."
"I can be your hero baby, I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever..."
"Hrm, the song Hero ain't too bad, but Escape is nicer, bailamos is nicer still but Be with you was the best. Enriqure Iglesias has a nice voice and has a nice peice of real estate"
"Laddie ah ain't wanna go ehe. anyways so aht's yer problim?"
"Well, I don't know as I said I really haven't anything to look forward too, and I am pissed with almost every other thing that is not going my way in life, which is not easy going as I would like to be again. Plus the thing is that I really don't know what there is to not like about Tina"
"Weellee Weel dahnld why not you be ah reeell mahn and go put a foot forwarhd."
"Long complicated story that I will not go into"
"Ahhh, daht is sahd then"
"Well, maybe all I really need a new passion for something to fill my life with."
"Aye laddie"
"I need to get in contact with some of my freinds now I call one of them"
"Aye laddie we'll bae seein yah round dahn Aye?"
"Sure thing"
"Man what are all these voices doing in my head, this is freaking me out. man 3 different voices cool man that is really interesting wonder what else I'll find the next time I talk to myself"

Pretty freeky shit eh?

I just farted and one that would make even Tina proud. Now I shall proceed to scratch my groin. Ahhh that was nice (scratches some more)

Mechwarrior 4: Merc is really taking up my time much more than I originally expected it to. So far I have spent over 30 hours on it maybe? Your Song from the Moulin Rouge Soundtrack sounds nice.

Argh toothache, shit. Too much chewing gum lately. Sooner or later I will get one of these problems if this continues.
A) Severe bowel control problems. As consuming too much artificial sweetner may have a laxative effect.
B) Cancer. Artificial sweetener is a known carcinogen.
C) Super-huge jaws. Chewing gum works your jaw muscles
D) Worn out teeth, Chewing does wear your teeth out.
E) Sex overdose and thus fatality. I don't know how this works out, I have no clue how I came to this conclusion but it will, in Dog we trust.

Today is another boring day. Pimples are annoying. Thankfully I have only one. Germany is the land of Shiza. Sweeden is the land of sex. In Dog we trust. These small random sentences are really boring. I think I will stop blogging permenently.